MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I went from singing Christmas carols to cursing Covid as that damn virus keeps getting in the way of my Happy HO HO HO!  Topping off my Grinchiness was today’s latest news on the rise of suicidality, anxiety and depression in adolescents and teens, even though the highest rate is still among middle aged/older males.  The most striking issue seems to be a sense of fear; a lack of hope that there is any type of security in their lives.  As much as we would like to blame the virus, this has been happening for years. We have failed to teach our children how to cope, how to cooperate to find a solution 

Maybe the greatest Christmas gift/New Year’s resolution we can give our kids is the TAKEAWAY!  Instead of spending your time trying to figure what to buy your kids this year to make them happy, try figuring out what would be the perfect TAKEAWAY that would enrich their lives (last forever/one size fits all and no returns needed)!

1. !st TAKEAWAY-  The idea that they have to be number one needs to go!  There will always be someone who is better, whether it be in athletics, academics, business, looks etc. etc.  Fill the takeaway void with the idea that doing your best is the goal. That the only one you need to compete with is yourself.  That is far more achievable (and less stressful) than trying to judge yourself by how you measure up to others! Teaching a child that they are more special than others is to teach prejudice in its purest form. After all, they don’t feel superior just to one group or gender, they feel that they are better than EVERYBODY else. They wind up going through their lives judging everybody by a standard of inflated beliefs about themselves. This sense of entitlement and these high expectations that children have been raised with over the last several decades, have resulted in a generation of young adults who are stressed, anxious, depressed, and increasingly suicidal. The idea that your child is the most special creature that roams the earth, teaches them that they don’t need God, that they are their own god and have no responsibility to our planet or our neighbors. 
2. 2^nd TAKEAWAY- The phone (yours as well)!  Kids feel isolated in their own homes. When you are engrossed in your phone, they see you treating an inanimate object with more respect and interest than you show them.  You need to gift the entire family a phone free time every day.  Replace it with treating them like your dog (or any other pet-with the exception of a goldfish or snake).  If you have ever owned a dog, you know that the first thing they do when you get home is to come running up wanting some loving.  They don’t let you push them aside because you had a busy day or there is something “critical” to check on social media.  So, you take them for a walk and play.  You feed your pup and give them enough leash to keep them safe yet allowing them the freedom to explore and enjoy.  Pay as much attention to your child as you give your pet and I guarantee they will feel better about themselves
3. 3^rd TAKEAWAY- Their comfort.  I see so many parents not exposing their kids to anything that might make them feel sad, guilty or uncomfortable in any way.  Replace that with the coping skills to deal with the real world.  The real world can be an ugly place and  to not expose them to that while you are around to help process and support them does them a grave disservice. Replace their false comfort with some volunteer work at a soup kitchen or community program that helps the needy.  Not only will that open their eyes to the world around them, they just might develop a sense of gratitude for what they have!  Maybe if they see the suffering of the kids their age whose “gaming” consists of going through garbage dumps for food, they will realize how lucky they are to live in this country despite its flaws.  Hopefully, seeing suffering might inspire them to make their community ( and world) a better place.!  This includes as good dose of history!  Children (and adults) cannot discuss prejudice, anti-Semitism, politics, or science without studying history!  They need to read about the founding of this country.  They need to learn about how our country was formed.  They need to read the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution before they start chanting political slogans.  They should read about slavery, the Dred Scott decision, the Tulsa race massacre sand other atrocities before they can have an intelligent discussion about the Black Lives Matter movement or school curriculums.  They must read the story of Anne Frank and visit the Holocaust Museum to see the incredible evil mankind is capable of against a religious minority.   The violence of the labor movement and formation of unions, the history of immigration, the Crusades and use of religion to condemn others must be taught or history will repeat itself.  
4. 4^th TAKEAWAY-Social media for all the above reasons! Maybe we can focus on solutions rather than hate.  Perhaps our children (and us) will learn to acknowledge the problems such as health care, violence, poverty and prejudice of all types.  May the New Year bring an effort to drop hateful slogans and work together to solve the problems that will destroy our children and grandchildren.

May your 2021 be filled with Love, Peace and good Health.

Pete

PS. Just like my Christmas cards, I promise to get my article done on time in 2022!